Life's Shenanigans
by namingshenanigans
Summary: A series of drabbles about a very pregnant Clary and her husband, Jace, as well as their friends. Clace, Sizzy, Malec, and many more.
1. Naming

**Author's Note: Hey guys! I know this chapter is very short, but it was an idea that I just had to write down. I'm thinking of making this story a series of drabbles with all of TMI characters. Let me know what you think, and please give me ideas to write about! Please review! Thanks!**

 **Disclaimer: I unfortunately own nothing.**

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Clary's hand absentmindedly rubbed her swollen belly with the tip of her pointer finger. She was lying on the soft brown couch in her living room, a book propped up on her offending stomach and held in place with her free hand. _Baby Names for Expecting Parents_. Such an original title, thought Clary. As she skimmed through the various C letter names lazily, a flutter erupted against her finger.

A smile spread across her face.

"What're you smiling about, babe?" asked Jace from his position. He was sitting on the couch with Clary, although he was more of a foot rest at the moment. Clary's feet were propped on his lap, and Jace's hands were sprawled on top of them as he watched TV.

Clary's eyes flickered to his. "Your son kicked me."

"Funny how he's _my_ son when he's abusing you." The grin that was plastered on Jace's face at the mention of his child was a glowing one; a grin that made Clary's insides set fire and melt into a puddle.

Clary glanced back at her book, trying to calm the blush in her cheeks. Even after three years of marriage, Jace could still make her lose her cool. If it wasn't such an amazing feeling, it would probably irritate her. "If we don't pick a name for _your_ _son_ , that's exactly the name I'll be writing on his birth certificate."

Jace scoffed. " _Your Son_?" he asked incredulously. "Has a nice ring to it."

Clary sat up with some effort, removing her legs from their position in his lap and placing her feet on the floor in front of her. "What about Christian?" She wasn't serious about the name, it was just the only C name that sounded decent.

Jace bit his lip in thought, then, "What about Gabriel?" his golden eyes roamed Clary's face for a second, then moved to the book in her hands. "Of the thousands of names in that book, you haven't found one that you liked?"

Clary narrowed her eyes at him. "Are you implying that I'm not trying hard enough, Jace Wayland?"

"Absolutely not, love of my li-" Of course Clary cut him off.

"Because if that's what you're implying, I can definitely take that shower all by myself tonight-"

Jace's eyes widened immediately. "You are trying harder than any woman who has ever walked on the face of this earth, you beautiful creature whom I love more than life itself."

Clary cracked a grin. "That's what I thought." Clary returned to her previous position, closing the book and setting it on the floor beside the couch. "Gabriel is a nice name. Although we could just name him after his father."

"Hm. Jace Junior. How cute." He smiled, his eyes crinkling. It always amazed Clary how beautiful he was. She hoped that her son had his eyes. And his smile. And his nose. _And his flawless hair_.

"Pain-In-My-Ass Junior is more like it."

Clary bit the inside of her cheek and rubbed her stomach when the fluttering started again. "Ugh. He's kicking me again." Jace's eyes moved from the TV to Clary's stomach. He reached out and placed his hand on the side of her protruding belly as another round of fluttering came. His eyes practically glowed and he smiled up at Clary.

Then Clary's stomach growled. Jace chuckled. "I'll order Chinese," he said, reaching for his cell phone in his pocket with a sigh.

"God, I don't think I've ever loved you more than I do at this moment."

Jace smirked at her. "You always say that when I get you food. I'm starting to think that's why you keep me around."

Clary grinned at him. "I mean, there are a _couple_ other reasons…" she muttered. "Although, one of those is why I'm in this position in the first place."

"What position? Hungry?"

"No, pregnant."

Jace laughed outright while holding the phone to his ear. The sound of it warmed Clary from the inside out. How was he so _perfect?_ "And get me some noodles, pleeease,"added Clary, flashing her teeth with a big smile.

With a glance, Jace responded, "Anything for you, babe."

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 **Thanks!**


	2. Traitor

**Hey guys, this is a continuation of Jace and Clary's life while she's pregnant. I'll probably keep this time frame until the birth of her child. Review and let me know what you think!**

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"Jace Wayland!"

Clary was pissed. Furious. Beyond livid. Absolutely outraged.

And she wasn't very fast at walking. Her eight-months pregnant stomach was heavy, and she was already so small. But she was pissed, so she picked up the pace, waddling her way through the back door of her house. Her husband – the traitor – was standing with his hands behind his back, a sheepish grin on his face. He had just been running, Clary could tell. A thin sheen of sweat was on his forehead and bare chest, his breathing a big labored.

She couldn't care less. "You little bitch, I cannot believe you told Izzy that horrendous, _traitorous_ lie!"

Jace couldn't stop the chuckle that escaped his lips at her swearing, which only fueled her hate fire. "Baby," he began, stepping a few feet closer. She held her small hand out, then crossed her arms across her chest.

She was absolutely terrifying when she was like this, thought Jace. "What in the world would have possessed you to tell your sister that I," she paused for dramatic effect, pointing a finger at herself. "Clary Adele Wayland, would want to go shopping for a goddamn dress that I can't even fit in!"

Jace knew he should've dodged Clary, ran inside the house, and locked himself in their bedroom for his own safety. She was a firecracker, that one. And Jace was about to receive the brunt end of her explosion. "She baited me, honey! I had no choice-"

"Don't you 'honey' me, Wayland!" Clary seethed. "Her wedding isn't for another five months! Why must you offer – _for_ me, I might add – that I go shopping for a bridesmaid dress? Do you realize that I'm carrying your child, Jace? Do you realize that it feels like I'm carrying a bowling ball in my uterus? How in the hell would I get in a dress? I can barely wear one of my t-shirts without suffocating!"

Jace winced at the way she said his name. She was pissed, that's for sure. "Baby, I'll call her right now and tell her you're not feeling well, okay?" Jace tried to soothe her by reaching out to touch her arm, but she jerked back and gritted her teeth. "Okay, I'm going call her now."

He inched around his wife, scared that she might reach out and strangle him right there.

Clary hated shopping when she _wasn't_ heavily pregnant, in her defense. She concluded that her husband was indeed, a dumbass. "And no shower time for you!" she added as she followed him inside, closing the door behind her.

As if sensing that she was about to be denied, a knock came from the front door. Jace was standing in the kitchen, leaning against the counter with his cell phone to his ear. He glanced up at the sound and raced passed Clary to open the door.

 _Speak of the devil_.

Isabelle stood on the other side of the door with a fitted black dress that stopped above the knee, heels that were entirely too high for a normal person, and a black purse the size of Clary hanging from her arm. "I knew Jace lied to me!" Isabelle exclaimed.

Clary narrowed her eyes and cut Jace a look that told him he really _wasn't_ getting shower time tonight. _Damn it_. "I really don't like you right now," was all Clary said before looking at Isabelle with remorseful eyes. "Isabelle, I'm fat and swollen and hormonal, please don't make me get dressed and waddle around New York today."

Isabelle sighed, "I knew you weren't coming, Clary." Isabelle smiled a little. "I mean, come on. You hate shopping even when you aren't pregnant."

Clary relaxed a bit. "Oh, then what's with the visit?"

Isabelle straightened and looked at Jace. "Oh, I'm not here for you, Clare." She grinned evilly. "I'm here for your asshat of a husband."

Jace froze and a look of horror crossed his face. "Oh, _God_ no," he breathed. "Please tell me I'm not-"

"Oh, but you are." Isabelle walked passed them both to the living room, where she threw her purse on the coffee table and sat on the brown couch with the grace of a ballerina. "Go on, I'll wait for you to shower and change."

When she realized that Jace was still frozen in fear, Isabelle rolled her eyes, clapped her hands and said, "Hurry up, loser!"

Jace sighed in defeat. He started towards the hallway that led to their bedroom and shower. As he passed Clary, he passed a hand down her arm affectionately. "I looooooove you, babe."

Clary tried to fight the smile that inevitably covered her lips. "I love you too, you idiot." Jace pulled her to him and kissed her forehead, allowing his hand to rest of her protruding belly as he did. Then he disappeared into their bedroom.

"You can't stay mad for long, huh, friend?" Isabelle giggled, crossing her ankles as she did so. Clary sighed happily and walked over to sit beside her best friend. This took some effort to plop herself on the couch, and when she did, she winced. Her lower back had been bothering her for some time now.

"Nope, he's so amazing. At least, most of the time," Clary grinned and rested her hands on her stomach, rubbing it softly. "But he's still not having any sexy time tonight. That, I _can_ withhold."

Isabelle grinned at Clary and threw an arm around her shoulders. "God, I missed you. It's been what? A week since I saw you last?"

Clary nodded, "Yup, about. How's Simon been treating ya?"

This earned Clary a happy smile from Isabelle, and she launched herself into a discussion about how Simon has been amazing with everything from wedding planning, to shopping, to decorating their new house. Everything was going great, according to Isabelle, and Clary couldn't have been happier for her two best friends.

Jace reemerged from the bedroom wearing dark wash jeans that hung low on his hips, and a black shirt that showed the outline of his well-defined chest. Clary flushed at the sight of him.

Jace, however, looked like he was about to enter the seventh circle of hell. "Shall we?" he asked with much reluctance. Isabelle stood up from the couch and grabbed her purse with a smirk. Clary remained sitting, because she knew she'd have a hell of a time trying to stand back up.

Jace walked over to her, leaned down and kissed her on her lips. Clary smiled and cupped his cheek. "See ya later," she whispered.

"If I don't die of boredom first."

Isabelle scoffed from the kitchen. "Oh please, I just need you to tell me which dress makes me look fat and which one looks amazing," she said. "No dying will happen on my watch."

Clary grinned and giggled. "Have fuuuuuun."

Jace grimaced.

He wasn't getting any sexy time at _all_ tonight.


	3. Pancakes and Sexy Time

**This chapter is pretty short, but it's a cute one, so I hope you guys like it. If you guys have any ideas for interactions between characters, let me know and I'll be happy to write it. Thanks!**

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The sound of the front door opening and closing jolted Clary awake. She hadn't meant to fall asleep on the couch, and the pain in her lower back told her she should have lugged herself to her bed instead.

Instead, Clary sat up with some difficulty, her hands clutching her huge belly as she pushed herself into a standing position. Jace made his way into the living room right as she was beginning her journey to the kitchen. "Hey, baby," he smiled down at her before he pulled her in for a hug. "No, shopping was not fun. Yes, I hated every minute of it. No, I don't think I should be punished by having my sexy time revoked, and yes, I would love to take a shower with you right now, at this moment."

Clary was giggling uncontrollably into his chest when he first started his rambling. He was so funny sometimes. "Not a chance in hell, mister."

Jace sighed into her hair before pulling back to meet her eyes with his golden ones. "I am very disappointed."

Clary shrugged and sidestepped him. "I am very hungry," was her response. "Feed me and your child, and maybe I'll reconsider this punishment."

Jace didn't even bat an eyelash. He was in the kitchen in a flash, rummaging through the refrigerator. Clary attempted to hoist herself up onto the counter to no avail. Jace gathered the ingredients for pancakes before setting it down on the counter. He grabbed Clary by the waist and set her down on the counter with ease. He truly amazed her with his strength. Clary was pretty light, but she didn't feel that way.

Clary looked down to where her shirt had risen to expose her pale stomach. She pushed it back down and rested the palm of her hand on the side of her belly. "Thanks," she muttered. Jace stepped between her legs and kissed her on the mouth sweetly before returning to his mess on the counter.

"Whatcha making?" Clary asked with a cute smile. She had been hungry even before he left with Isabelle, but she wanted to wait for Jace before she ate.

She was always hungry, though.

Jace busied himself with mixing pancake batter. "I'm making pancakes. Did you want something else in them?"

Clary worried her bottom lip in thought before answering, "Coconut sounds great. But so does everything else, so…"

Jace flashed her his signature smirk, "We have coconut, bananas, and strawberries. Want one of each?"

Clary's eyes widened in excitement. "I knew I married you for a reason!"

Jace shook his head and laughed. "I swear we have this conversation every time I make you food," he said. "but I know for a fact that you married me because of how gorgeous I look naked."

Clary hummed in thought. "I dunno, Jace," she said to him, which earned her his full attention. "I've seen better."

Jace nearly dropped the knife he was using to slice the strawberries. "You take that back!" he said with wide eyes. "Or I'm revoking your sexy time."

Clary scoffed. "You can't take away sexy time, Jace. That's the rule."

"Never heard that rule before, Clary," he said defiantly. "I think you're just mad that I'm using your tactics against you."

Clary huffed and crossed her arms over her chest. "Fine," she grumbled. "I take it back. But only because I want my pancakes, and not because I want sexy time."

Jace continued slicing fruit and adding it to the batter. "Everyone wants sexy time, hun. Don't kid yourself."

"Easy for you to say," she said. "You don't waddle from one place to another like a penguin."

Jace met her eyes. "You're a very sexy penguin though."

"Jerk!"

Jace's smile was magnificent as he poured the batter into the pan. He was quiet for a while before he said, "I'm glad you like pancakes. It's the only thing I'm good at making."

"That's not true."

"What do you mean?"

Clary couldn't fight back the giggle that escaped. "You're good at making babies too," she deadpanned.

This earned a hearty laugh from Jace. He was still chuckling as he flipped the pancakes with a spatula before setting them on a plate. He slid it over to Clary with a sweet smile. Clary reached underneath her legs for the drawer that contained utensils. She grabbed a fork and took a bite of a pancake while Jace cleaned up. When he finished he walked over to Clary and stepped in between her legs again.

She stabbed a piece of pancake and held it out to Jace. They did this until the plate was empty, and Clary was full. Jace kissed her lips softly, and Clary wrapped her fingers in his hair as she pulled him closer to her. Jace deepened the kiss, sliding his hands around Clary's hips before he shifted her onto his waist. She wrapped her legs around him as he slid her off the counter.

The trip to the bedroom was a hasty one, and when Jace laid Clary back on their mattress, Jace looked at Clary with an extremely smug look on his face.

"If I weren't already in bed, I would deny your sexy time," Clary said through narrowed eyes. "But since we're here, and you fed me, I'll allow it."

Jace exhaled and pulled his shirt off in one swift motion. "Let the sexy time commence!"


	4. Self-Conscious

**Hey guys! A guest requested a chapter with Clary struggling with her pregnancy, and Jace being supportive and amazing as usual. I hope you guys like it, and keep leaving ideas and reviewing. Thanks!**

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Clary stared at herself in the full length mirror in her bathroom. She was dressed in a tank top that barely covered her pregnant belly, and some black boy shorts. Her curly red hair was thrown together in a bun atop her head, unruly curls framing her face.

She grimaced at her reflection.

Jace must've told Clary a thousand times a day just how beautiful he thought she was. But standing in front of that mirror, she didn't look pretty. She certainly didn't feel pretty either. Her face had a summery glow to it due to her lounging outside during the day, and her eyes were big and green. Her auburn hair lost most of its orangey hue as she got older, and now it was a deep auburn red. But that didn't matter.

All Clary could focus on was the changes that were happening to her body. Her breasts were two cup sizes bigger, which was pretty uncomfortable for someone who was an A cup all her life. Her stomach always got in her way when she tried to pick something up or tie her shoes.

Clary loved her unborn child so much it was unreal, but she had to admit that it was getting harder to walk around, or dress in clothes comfortably. Waddling here and there was unpleasant, and Clary couldn't wait until she gave birth to her first son so she could walk normally again.

Clary sighed unhappily as she tugged the too-small tank top down to try to cover her protruding stomach. She took another deep breath before trudging out of the bathroom and into the living room. Jace sat on the sofa, flipping through channels to find something good to watch. It was their ritual for Sunday nights now, and it was truly something she looked forward to.

Clary sat on the couch, laying her head on Jace's lap. Her face must have showed her distress, because Jace's hands stroked Clary's hair softly as he looked down at her. "What's wrong, honey?"

Clary shrugged but didn't meet his eyes. Instead she stared at the TV, not really seeing anything. She was just sad. It was one of those days, and she had them every now and then. Though, usually Jace knew nothing about them. Clary was excellent at hiding it.

Not this time. "Baby?"

The endearment made her flush with pleasure, and she reluctantly met his gaze. "Hmm?"

"What's on your mind?" he asked, his thumb stroking her forehead affectionately. Clary leaned in to his hand.

"I'm just in a mood," she shrugged it off like it was nothing, but she wasn't fooling Jace. He knew her too well for that.

"Uh uh, tell me what's bothering you," he said. "Maybe I can help."

Clary knew he couldn't really help her. She was just having a hard time. She felt too fat, too swollen all the time. There was nothing he could do for that. "I'm just being weird, you know me."

Jace squinted at her. "You're being weirder than usual though. C'mon babe, you know you can talk to me about anything."

Clary sighed. He wasn't going to drop it, but when he knew something was wrong. "I'm having trouble with things, Jace. It's nothing really. Just don't like the way I look right now, but I'll be okay," she said. "I'm just being a girl about it. No big deal."

Jace immediately responded with, "And what's wrong with how you look right now? You're gorgeous, Clare."

Clary rolled her eyes and looked back at the TV. "You don't understand," she grumbled. "Just because you say that doesn't make it so."

Jace blinked at her. "Of course it does," he replied. "I'm always right. Just like my wife is always beautiful."

Clary groaned and covered her face with her hands in frustration. "Jace, I'm pretty sure you're bound by law to say these things," she muttered through her fingers. "Either that, or you're scared I'll kick your ass if you say otherwise."

Jace chuckled, "Clary, stop," he pried her hands away from her face to find that tears were flooding her eyes. He wiped them away gently. "You're pregnant, Clary. With our child. And that's probably the most amazing thing I've ever had in my life."

Clary sniffed and looked up at him as he spoke. His fingers caressed her cheek softly. "You should never feel this way, Clary. You've singlehandedly made me the happiest man on this earth just by being with me."

"Jace-"

"Our child is going to be the most beautiful thing in the world, babe. And you're the one who's carrying him. You're the one who's taking care of him right now," he ran his thumb across her lips. "You're the most amazing woman I've ever met, and you're so beautiful, Clary. You have no idea."

She didn't say anything, just looked at her husband with watery eyes.

"So don't ever feel like you're less than absolutely perfect," he smiled. "Also, your waddle is damn near perfected, and that's something to be proud of."

Clary laughed and swatted his hand away from her face. "You had me there for a second. I almost thought you were someone else." Jace chuckled and his hands returned to playing with her hair.

"I meant every word, Clare. Don't forget that."

She nodded as she reached for his face. He leaned down and pressed his lips to hers softly. "I love you so much, babe," he whispered against her lips.

"Mhmmmm."

Jace grinned and pulled back, "Oh don't you worry, I know you love me too," he said. "You don't even have to waste your breath."

Clary's grin spread across her face. "Oh, good," she sighed, "because this conversation was sooooo exhausting."

Jace perked up a bit, "So you're reserving your energy for other things then, right?" Clary could feel his excitement coursing through his body and into her own.

"You're such a dork."

"That's a yes, right?"

Clary shook her head with a giggle and met his gaze once again. "Ya know, Jace," she said. "I was just about to take a shower-"

Before she even finished her sentence, Jace had her in his arms. He was halfway to the bathroom when Clary burst out laughing, flinging her arms around his neck and kissing his cheek. "I love you too, Jace."


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